One instinct that often helps to fuel the drama in divorce is self-preservation. If your relationship has ended up in divorce court in Evansville, you might want to tread carefully. It is natural for you to want to do everything to ensure your personal interests come first in the negotiations and settlement. But if you have children, your interests should come secondary to their well-being.
Regardless of how stressed, angry and tired you may feel, your kids need someone who is going to do what it takes to ensure their needs are a top priority, especially since they have little control over the changes to come. Here are few ways to try to minimize the effects of your divorce on them.
Preserve custody interests
It is not uncommon for one parent in a divorce to move out of the family home. Regardless if you are the one who is moving out, make sure you take steps to have an appropriate custody/visitation schedule in place. Adjusting to not having both parents living in the same household is often not easy for children. Generally, it can be important to make sure you and their other parent continue to see and interact with them as often as possible.
Listen to the kids
Children show their feelings verbally and behaviorally. Pay attention to your kids' behavior and what they say to stay in tune with how they are adjusting to the divorce. Encourage them to speak up and share their thoughts and feelings so you and their other parent can address these emotions early on. You should consider having your children see a therapist if they struggle with the situation and become withdrawn.
Keep it civil
There may be a fair amount of anger between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, but you should generally not make those feelings known to your children. They are already struggling to process the situation and the changes they are going through. Mistreating and speaking poorly about their other parent can confuse them, forcing them to feel they must take sides and encouraging them to act out. Regardless of how their other parent acts, take the high road and treat your ex the way you want and expect for him or her to treat you.